In Home Newborn Session | The Hazy Days
I was told that having a child would forever change my life, but I really didn’t know the true meaning to that statement until it actually happened. I used to live a life full of so many freedoms, absolute consistency and way less fears than I have now. I knew what to expect from my days, I knew where I stood in my life and what was expected of me, it was really somewhat boring now looking back on it. In complete opposition, the first few days of being a mom to a newborn baby are really quite remarkable. To come home, to a place that you know and are sure of with a new human, who you are so unsure of is like walking into an alternate universe. Nothing feels freeing, except maybe the sound of momentary silence in between hunger or tired cries. There is zero consistency in the day to day and the feeling of what you are needed for and what is expected of you changes on a dime. The one thing you do know, and you know it with your whole heart, is that with every glance at that baby you created you will never love another being with such intensity and honesty.
My experience of coming home for the first time was like walking through a fierce storm that rushed through my life, breaking apart every thing I was once sure of and as soon as the chaos settled down, there were only just pieces of my previous life to pick up and build off of, to make better, and to enjoy differently. These days were, and continue to be ever changing and forever engraved in my brain. I can say with complete certainity that every storm I have weathered in my own motherhood journey has brought me closer to the truth of my existence. I am here for her, I am here to one day share these experiences with her in her own motherhood journey. That is a hope for me, that one day later in her life she will understand all these powerful and sometimes all consuming emotions!
To be invited into someone’s home to capture these emotion driven times is a privilege. I am there, re-living these moments with new mammas, feeling their dreamy, hypnotic love for their new family. It’s captivating. Like so many mammas feel, I was particular uncomfortable right after I had my daughter. Nothing felt like it fit quite right anymore and the stress of getting dressed each day, let alone for someone to photograph me, was a pretty big burden. I offer both my expecting & new mammas a specifically curated wardrobe for their Maternity and/or Newborn sessions so that they don’t have to worry about that piece of the puzzle!
I make these photographs for mothers, like me, who are wanting to remember and relive parts of this time in their lives. They are little glimmers of memories. They have helped me, they have showed me that even the strongest storm won’t last and what is left behind is only better than before. That sometimes in order to be able to understand your own feelings, you may need to view them through someone else’s experience.
Do you remember the first few days of being a mother? Tell me something about them, I want to know I am not alone!